A Mother's Love
by lonely-life
Summary: What is a Mother? Every child has one, except him...Gaara's point of view on mother's day and about his life.


A Mother's love

Mother's day. That special day of the year where all mothers receive special gifts from their children, showing how much they're loved. You can give them something fancy, or a homemade gift, it doesn't matter to them as long as you though of it carefully. Every family in the village celebrated this special holiday; everyone showed their love and happiness on this day. Everyone…except him.

Gaara sighed. He hated this time of year. He hated every celebration there was, whether it was Valentine's Day, Christmas, or any other occasion…he even hated his own birthday!

Valentine's day was for couples and lovers, who on that day could show their affectionate feeling for one another. Love was in the air, apparently, people were blissfully happy, giving little cards out, tossing pink and red confetti around…

'Ya, plenty of fun…'he sneered to himself, 'who wouldn't want to spend their whole day seeking affection and love, whatever that is anyways…' he could never understand the meaning of love, not even after so many years of research. He doubted he would ever understand…and who could teach him? No one in the village had ever loved him, not even the only person he had trusted had any feelings for him. He was doomed to love none but himself, trust no one but himself, to remain alone forever. It was his fate, his name even told that much. Sabaku no Gaara…a monster who loves only himself…

Not like that was true either. He hated himself, therefore could not love himself either. Love just didn't exist to Gaara, it never would…

Birthday's were hard enough to go through…he hated the day that reminded him of his existence…he only existed to become the ultimate shinobi! The village weapon! He was disgusted of it! No one cared about his birthday, they wish he were dead! Would you call that a day to look forward to? But Mother's day…this what he hated most of all.

It reminded him why he didn't celebrate this day, why his mother was no longer around …the reason, because she had died giving birth to him…a monster she had never wanted. Not a childbirth death, that just accidentally happened and was therefore not his fault, but a death that was know from the beginning. It was as if the world wanted to remind him of his grief, punishing him every time for it. He could still remember the night Yashamaru tried to assassinate him, like an old film that kept replaying over and over in his head…that would probably haunt him forever…

'…I must have…resented you…for coming into this world, stealing life away from my beloved sister…' Gaara closed his eyes in frustration 'I tried my best to love you by thinking you as her memento….but I couldn't…' Yashamaru had never loved him, no matter how hard he had tried…so who ever would…? 'This child's name is Gaara…' Yashamaru's voice surrounded his brain, not letting go until it had reminded him every word that had been spoken…'A demon that loves only himself…but she didn't give you the name out of concern or love for you…the name was given to you in the hope of your eternal existence…to let her grudge be carried down…and to be known to the world…' he tried to push the memory away, tried to close down the ending, but it came just the same…'you were never loved…!'.

Gaara opened his eyes. Pain shone from them. It was the only place that showed his emotions…where you could see the pain and suffering he had carried for 15 years. The last statement echoed in his head, repeating those hateful words…the words that were true! She was sacrificed for the village…she cursed at giving birth to him to the very end…he was never wanted. 'Love only yourself…fight only for your sake…'that was what Yashamaru told him…and as soon as he found his reason to exist, to kill everyone other than himself, he found that he couldn't. He became a heart-less monster, killed all the assassins his father sent and felt alive, but he could never love himself.

He got up from the wall he was leaning against and started to walk. The streets were full of cheery children and occasional parents. As soon as they saw him walk by, they looked at him in fear, and hatred. He sighed. Not even being Kazekage of the village changed many people's minds about him. Sure, Kankourou and some others gave him a small feeling of love, but that was it. What did he have to do to gain their love and trust?

It was all thanks to Naruto that he had changed his ways. The blonde hair fox-boy had saved him from the darkness, as he had done to many others. He learned to in order to receive love, you needed to make connections with others. And that's exactly what he did. He became Kazekage, to bond with and live for the village, so that one day, someone, not as a weapon, but as the Sand village Kazekage, could need him.

He looked around to find himself in the village graveyard. His feet must have been caring him there while he pondered his thoughts. He didn't know why he brought himself here, he only knew that it had something to do with her. He wondered, what would have happened if she had never died…? Would she still be around? Would he have changed his ways a long time ago? Would she have loved him now?

If he found it surprising that he was in front of her grave, he was even more surprised to find himself crouching down in front of it.

' I wonder…' he asked himself, 'would she be proud of me now?' he had changed, no one could deny it. He wanted to be able to share his emotions with others, he wanted to know if she would have loved him as a child. Even if she had never loved him, could he have loved her? He never received a mother's love, and wished deeply that he had…so did he love her, a mother he never had? He slowly reached out his hand and laid it on her grave stone, feeling its cold and rough texture as he whispered with a small smile,

"Happy Mothers day…mom"

* * *

A little something I though up of on mother's day. I know it's late for that now, but it's the thought that counts, right? Anyhoo…there you go! My first Gaara fic. It actually turned out better than I thought it would! I'm very happy about it!Comments please! 


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